What am I doing here?

I wake up in a situation which I "moved heaven and earth" to get to, and wonder "what am I doing?".

All the voices of those people who care about me are in the background of my mind wondering the same thing.  I assume that they assume I know exactly what I'm doing, but I am living by faith and instinct.

They cannot immediately see how I'm walking the road of finance, retirement, security, companionship, or emotional well-being.  It may even look like I've ran into the ditch on a few or all of these roads.

All of these judgments and thoughts are not mine of course, they are the thoughts of others diluting my point of creation on this blank canvas.  The journey here was rich with amicable people, willing assistance and mechanical soundness.

The answer finally came into focus.  It is simple.  I am here to do something I've never done, and I'm doing it alone.

If I wasn't alone, I would simply be a supporting actor in someone else's dream, but this is my dream.

E.L.F.
-via Eve Featherstone

*move heaven and earth - To do everything possible to bring about something desired